Guards! Guards!

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1. 

   Daniel Jolley @ 3:34 pm

   Discworld really doesn’t get any better or funnier than this. For the first time in the series, we get an extended up-close view of life in the remarkable city of Anhk-Morpork. We are introduced to such wonderful characters as Captain Vimes of the City Watch and his singular subordinates Nobby, Colon, and the giant dwarf (adopted) Carrot; the formidable Lady Ramkin; and Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler. The remarkable fashion in which the Patrician Lord Vetinari runs the city is explained in some detail, we begin to really get to know the Librarian of Unseen University (who was of course turned into an orangutan some type back as a result of a magical accident), and Pratchett gives us a basic rundown on the theory of L-Space under which all libraries work and are magically connected.

   Everyone knows that dragons do not exist, not the type of giant mythical creatures who fly around breathing fire all over the place. Thus, it comes as something of a surprise to people when Anhk-Morpork begins experiencing incidents of the body-melting variety; such a perpetrator can only be dismissed for so long as a giant wading bird, however. It seems that a group of unimportant have-nots has been wooed into a secret society bent on teaching the haves a lesson or two by magically summoning a dragon to carry out their wishes. Naturally, things get out of hand, and the dragon finds a way to establish permanent residence in reality. Declaring himself king of the city, preparations are made to turn over treasure and begin sacrificing maidens. The City Watch has long been nothing but a joke in town, especially after the establishment of proper guilds virtually eliminated illegal illegality, and Captain Vimes and his men have no desire to enforce the law anyway, unless enforcing the law somehow involves drinking copious amounts of alcohol. Young Carrot (who has just found out he is a human and not a dwarf after all, all six and a half feet of him) amazingly volunteers for the Watch and actually tries to enforce the law, thereby causing a bit of controversy at first. Then the dragon business comes along, and the City Watchmen take it upon themselves to try and overcome the wossname since no one else, aside from the noble swamp-dragon enthusiast Lady Ramkin, seems to offer much resistance at all (even when extolled by Sergeant Colon’s rally cry “The people united can never be ignited!”). Of course, the odds of solving such a crisis as this are a million-to-one; odds of a million-to-one guarantees success, as everyone knows, and the problem comes in making sure your plan’s chance of success does not miss the mark; it can’t be a thousand-to-one or even 999,999-to-one odds because you’ve never heard of anyone succeeding with those odds against them, now have you?

   There is so much that goes to the very heart of the Discworld in this novel that one cannot begin to list it all here. Captain Vimes and the City Watch members are some of the most human characters in the series, and they also happen to be very funny. Virtually everything about this book is terribly funny. The only question I have about this novel is how in the world the inept wizard Rincewind managed to be completely absent from such a dangerous situation as the one represented by the dragon to the city. It’s really best that he does not appear in these pages, though, as it would take something away from the incredible appeal of the City Watch characters. If ever a Discworld novel were required reading, it would have to be Guards! Guards! If you can’t enjoy this book, then Pratchett’s Discworld series is not for you.

   
2. 

   wallawallan @ 4:00 pm

   This is the first Discworld book I read and 24 books later it is still my favorite. The plot is so twisted, and the characters well developed, its a must read! It is a fun series to read and I would recommened to everyone to read this one first. You don’t have to read the series in order. Each book can stand alone although there are several “mini-series” of books in the whole series. Guards! Guards! is full of humor yet thought provoking. While you enjoy the story you also realize the point that Mr Pratchett is making about problems in our own world. So buy it now! And enjoy!

   
3. 

   Craobh Rua @ 5:19 pm

   “Guards ! Guards !” is the eighth book in Terry Pratchett’s hugely popular Discworld series and is the first to focus on Sam Vimes and Ankh-Morpork’s City Guard. Although the City Guard was once a fine and noble profession, it has fallen by the wayside in recent years. Once, there had been hundreds of members : as the book opens, the City’s Night Watch is staffed only by Sam, Sergeant Fred Colon and Corporal Nobby Nobbs. Like the Night Watch itself, Sam has also fallen on hard times. Having started drinking to forget (it was possibly something to do with a woman), he now drinks to forget the drinking. Despite his faults, though, he’s a likeable cynic who has a well-developed sense of fair play and identifies with the underdog.

   Things start turning around for Sam and the Watch in “Guards ! Guards !”. The force sees a dramatic rise in numbers with the arrival of Carrot Ironfoundersson. Orphaned as a baby, Carrot had been taken in by the dwarfs and raised in a gold mine. Until shortly before he left home, he didn’t realise he was human – he’d always thought he was just tall for his species. His adoptive father decides it’s best for Carrot to spend some time with other humans and ‘manages’ to secure a position for him in the Ankh-Morpork City Guard. Carrot, on his arrival, is viewed with some amazement : an actual, honest volunteer. He takes things very literally (as dwarfs tend to do), is very innocent (he wouldn’t know what to do with a seamstress if one fell into his lap) and a lot of the humour comes from his utter confusion.

   The problem for Sam and the Night Watch is presented by the Unique and Supreme Lodge of the Elucidated Brethren. Well, actually, the problem is its mysterious (and big-headed) Supreme Grand Master, an ambitious and manipulative individual. (The remaining members are bitter, vitriolic, small-minded, jealous, resentful and a bit stupid. As a result, they’re very easy to manipulate). He’s devised a Machiavellian plan that will involve the removal of the Patrician (Ankh-Morpork’s tyrant) and lead to the restoration of the monarchy. Unfortunately, his plan involves the controlling of a very dangerous dragon – to that end, Brother Fingers has managed to ‘acquire’ De Malachite’s book on summoning dragons from the Unseen University’s library. For some reason, it doesn’t seem to bother him that the book is badly burnt.

   This is the first of the Discworld books to feature Sam and the City Guard. As a result, it’s a pretty good starting point if you’ve never read any of the other Discworld books before and want to see what you’re missing. Pratchett’s books are always very funny and this one gets better as it goes along. Definitely recommended.

   
4. 

   Stephen A. Haines @ 6:41 pm

   Who but Terry Pratchett could have created a copper like Sam Vimes? Years of “mystery” novels have given us the image of witless, plodding, unimaginative policemen, easily bested by private detective geniuses. When we first meet Sam, he falls right into the stereotype, as well as into a gutter. He doesn’t even have the sense to come in out of the rain. That’s because his senses have been dulled by Old Bearhugger’s – an elixir well suited to numbing the brain to life’s injustices. And justice, or the lack of it, is a persistent theme in Sam’s life.

   Sam’s a copper. Policemen are there to enforce the law. In this case, the Patrician of Ankh Morpork has arabesqued normal law enforcement with the creation of Guilds. There’s an association of thieves, of burglars, of prostitutes, even of murderers. The latter are known as Assassins – the taking of life is a gentleman’s business, not something to be left to the rabble. Against all logic, the Patrician’s plan works – the Guilds keep order within their own ranks. That leaves Sam with little to do – and the elixir’s appeal is irresistible.

   A murder, unlike anything the Assassins might perpetrate, confronts Sam with a novel situation. Assassins, while neat, leave more than a pile of smoking ash in their wake. Nor do they leave such arcane clues as a footprint resembling a raptor’s claws. A mystery, indeed. One which could lead to the City terrorized by an unprecedented threat – the arrival of a giant dragon. Neither Sam nor his boss the Patrician want the City subjected to that kind of threat. It’s not controllable. It doesn’t fit into the design. And it’s bloody dangerous.

   In pursuing his quarry, Sam wends his way to a home for sick and abandoned dragons. Run by the city’s richest . . . umm . . . woman?? If any Pratchett character evades description, it’s Sybil Ramkin. We know she’s rather Valkyrian, well bred, and consumed with a fervour for swamp dragons. We don’t know how old she is [although her family line reaches far into the past], and although matronly in mien, she’s not a widow, grass or otherwise. Vimes, a product of the City’s Shades [and a few gutters], is daunted, but not overwhelmed. A relationship, however unlikely, builds.

   Pratchett draws a fine set of characters in this book. The City’s Night Watch, with its cast of unlikely, but wholly believable, characters is introduced. Including a dwarf two metres tall, Carrot Ironfoundersson, who’s come to the City to become a Man. Colon, “one of Nature’s Sergeants”. Nobby Nobbs, whose species remains uncertain. And another whose species is unquestioned, but whose fitness for the City Watch requires further scrutiny. And always, there is Vimes. Vimes, confronted by a dragon metres long and with tonnes of mass, still has an edge. The dragon wants to be king of Ankh Morpork. And Vimes’ ancestor, Old Stoneface, once held similar views of justice about kings . . .

   Pratchett has a hack at a number of sound, established, institutions. His swipe at the powers of the British Trade Unions through Ankh’s Guild system is classic. A traditional association, the Mechanics’ Institute, is wonderfully portrayed in the workers’ cabal meeting to summon the dragon. It may seem foreign or exaggerated to an American audience. Rest assured it’s right on the mark. Pratchett’s Patrician shows how effective and subtle the exercise of true power can be. Even in the direst circumstances, his unique personal information network works for him.

   For those who are new to Pratchett, this is a fine place to start. PTerry’s descriptive wit will keep your attention. It may even grant you some new forms of language. How many of you know a runt dragon is “a total whittle”? How would you play charades with a Librarian? Why does hiring a troll for a pub change the job description from “bouncer” to “splatter”?

   For the long-term Pratchett aficionado there are new treasures to enjoy, new concepts to prompt reflection. There are those well-versed in the Discworld Pantheon who rank the Patrician among their favourites. Others rejoice in Sam Vimes as a credibly drawn figure, worthy of imitation [if you can afford the Bear Hugger's]. The cast is impeccably drawn, the story vintage Pratchett. Whether your collection of Pratchett is accumulating randomly or in sequence, this one will fit in admirably and will suffer from being taken from the shelf repeatedly for fresh enjoyment.
   
   [stephen a. haines - Ottawa, Canada, March 11, 2001]

   
5. 

   Scooby @ 6:52 pm

   This book is dedicated to all the guard-characters in fantasy-novels. Most of the time these characters only appear as an obstacle to the hero of the story, and most of the time they either don’t survive the first scene in which they appear, or end up with a chandelier on their heads, in the more classical versions.

   This book takes the perspective of those poor suckers.

   Poor suckers indeed, trying to uphold nonsense like law and order in a city like Ankh-Morpork. The story starts out with the introduction of a new member of the guard, Carrot, a quite naive, but simplistically honest and brave young man, raised by dwarfs. The scene where his parents tell him he’s not a dwarf is an absolute masterpiece parody on adoption-drama.

   As brave as Carrot is, as pathetic is the rest of the guard. First, there’s captain Vimes, who takes on the main role in the rest of the story. Though basically a good guy, he’s been brought down by his alcohol addiction. Then there’s Colon, the gravitationally challenged sergeant of the guard. And last but not least Nobby, whose exact appearance is never fully described, but he’s supposed to be the ugliest, filthiest and nastiest excuse for a human being there is.

   These poor suckers take on a struggle against an occult society (whose members are society’s ultimate losers) trying to summon a dragon from their dimension. The story is very entertaining and involves some very onorthodox views on classical fantasy, like all discworld-novels. Dragons are no longer majestic monsters, but either badly designed, self-destructive walking chemistry-sets, or impossibly sadistic giants.

   Less entertaining are the attempts on parody, like captain Vimes holding a dragon like a gun, quoting Dirty Harry (“how many times has he thrown flames? Five? Six?”). In this discworld-novel these parodies are sometimes just too obvious and over the top.

   This was the third disworld-novel I read, The color of magic and The light fantastic being the first and second. Although G!G! is generally regarded as superior to Pratchett’s earlier work, I have too say I enjoyed the first two novels better. G!G! lacks the feeling of exploration I felt while reading those, since the entire story takes place in Ankh-Morpork instead of being a quest across the whole of discworld. The humor on the other hand is less “silly” and can be appreciated after rereading.

   All in all a very entertaining book, with heart-warming characters, ingenious plot twists and a great sense of humor.